Showing posts with label FAIL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FAIL. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

My most recient school experience

This blog was created to show my little frustration about school. I have to say that I still don't like school. It's actually becoming one of the most painful experiences in my life to date. I knew that I wouldn't like school from the beginning. Anything that pins me down isn't my favorite but I seem to put up with it for one reason or another. For example, work, because I like to have money. School is so someday I can have the money to provide for more than just the small toys that I like to have (like the computer that I bought today). Basically family. So I go to school to jump through the hoops. I enter every semester beyond excited for what is to come and ready to do what it takes to succeed, reading the chapters every day, singing the praises of awesome teachers, and staying on top of all the things that have to be done to succeed. But inevitably, every time, I fail. Not only do I fail, I FAIL. I've realized that part of the problem is the way that I take in information. I look around me and see people avidly writing information in their book, taking that information in as quickly as they can. Others talk a lot to try to absorb all the information they can. Some even write every word that the teacher says and are able to take the information, study it for hours and perfectly answer every question in each question. So what I my purpose in all of this...? I honestly don't know. I've tried writing in the book and don't ever look back. I've written down notes on what the teacher says, and then I lose what I'm supposed to be writing because I'm writing information for the last thing they said. I've tried so many other things. I've pretty much given up on trying. I usually just go on with life hoping that coping will get me the C that I want. I'm realizing that everything that I’ve done gets me nowhere. So really this whole school thing has gone from frustration to anger to acceptance to depression. I don't know what's next, but that's where I am now. Plus, work is very stressful. I am now being expected to take a Sunday shift which I promised myself that I wouldn't ever do. Is it worth the experience? I'm not so sure it is.